I do care


For the two people who actually read this, I thank you.

I actually just typed an entire new post with the only words I could get out. “I have nothing to say”.

Yes I took up the entire post space, of course I did not actually hit the publish button.  The temptation to do so was just about to take over when I  realized,  some may think I am quit crazy.   I  usually do not give a second thought of what people  may think of me.  Then reality sank in.  Yes I do care what people think, at least I care what they think about what I write.

I have been writing for as long as I can remember.  I’ve written many short stories and essay’s that I cared enough to carefully rewrite and edit until my fingers were bare.  Then I held my breath and hoped with all my might that someone would think they were good enough to print. They did and I made everyone I knew subscribe to the venue my words were in.   I actually sent out a manuscript many moons ago to a few publishing houses.  I cared with every fiber of my being enough to cross every joint I had hoping for a bite.  With each denial letter that appeared in my mail box I cared enough to be sad.  Then surprise of all surprises I got a bite.  The bite was small but I cared so much I shouted it from every roof top.  That bite  turned into a tiny nibble which I cared enough to sob over.   I never did rewrite that manuscript or resend it.  Maybe  when  I become a recognized author that manuscript can resurface. For now I will finish my current novel, which I fondly call  ‘The Family”. (I will hold off on actually stating that is the  official title until I have an actual agent/publisher.)

Today I learned two things about myself.

I do care what people think.

More importantly I may not have nothing to say, but I sure do have plenty to write about.

2 thoughts on “I do care

  1. Don’t give up! Writing is definitely a struggle and often it seems as if we are shouting at brick walls, but somewhere out there someone is waiting to find us.

    Don’t wait until you’re a recognized author to rework that old manuscript. My suggestion? Finish your current project, then go back and edit your old piece. Given enough time and space you may see why agents in the past didn’t initially dig it. After you’re done revisiting history? Edit your latest project (you’ll have had some space from it by then.) Then you’ll have two manuscripts ready to shop!

  2. I also learned that I actually used the word actually way to often in this post. Thank you for the encouriging words! I will finish my current project and revisit what I believe to be worth reading!

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