For the two people who actually read this, I thank you.
I actually just typed an entire new post with the only words I could get out. “I have nothing to say”.
Yes I took up the entire post space, of course I did not actually hit the publish button. The temptation to do so was just about to take over when I realized, some may think I am quit crazy. I usually do not give a second thought of what people may think of me. Then reality sank in. Yes I do care what people think, at least I care what they think about what I write.
I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I’ve written many short stories and essay’s that I cared enough to carefully rewrite and edit until my fingers were bare. Then I held my breath and hoped with all my might that someone would think they were good enough to print. They did and I made everyone I knew subscribe to the venue my words were in. I actually sent out a manuscript many moons ago to a few publishing houses. I cared with every fiber of my being enough to cross every joint I had hoping for a bite. With each denial letter that appeared in my mail box I cared enough to be sad. Then surprise of all surprises I got a bite. The bite was small but I cared so much I shouted it from every roof top. That bite turned into a tiny nibble which I cared enough to sob over. I never did rewrite that manuscript or resend it. Maybe when I become a recognized author that manuscript can resurface. For now I will finish my current novel, which I fondly call ‘The Family”. (I will hold off on actually stating that is the official title until I have an actual agent/publisher.)
Today I learned two things about myself.
I do care what people think.
More importantly I may not have nothing to say, but I sure do have plenty to write about.