I recently took my little one to our local nature trail. Here on the east coast it is supposed to be spring but mother nature is not cooperating, still I had enough of the indoors. I know that the trees and most flowers will bloom no matter the weather, it’s all timing! I figured he was old enough to appreciate the 90+ acres our little suburb had to offer. We collected leaves, sticks and what he thought to be fossils! I think I took more pictures of him in that one afternoon than I did my oldest 22 yrs of life! We played explorers, animal rescuers and rested for a picnic lunch. He recapped his adventure that night during family dinner.
When he heard that I also took his brothers when they were young, he was so angry and upset. He likes to think they were always the age they are now, he is the only little prince there ever was! My middle one tried to comfort him but ended up tearing my heart out! He had the nerve to tell his baby brother in front of me, that he and his older brother would only go to High Rock to pass the time until Dad got home!! Can you imagine my middle one, the one who was the baby for 13 years, saying such a thing? Well as you know everything is always about me… I could not speak, breath, not a thing could I do but sob. I cherished those times, they are my memories of the best times with my boys. Back then I was full of energy and could relate to youth a bit more than I do now. We would designate specific areas and play hide and seek for hours which would turn into man hunt (hide and seek in the dark with a flash light). They never wanted to leave, not even when tummies would growl! I would have to make up lies to get them home. My husband came a few times but the boys led me to believe that it was more fun with just mom!
I cleared the dinner mess insisting I needed no help and retrieved to my room to be alone! Knowing my act would get the middle one to come and talk. It worked!…”Ma, I was lying, you know I was. I felt bad for the baby and that was the first thing that popped into my head”…he said as he hugged me. I knew it was a lie. How could those times me faked? But I was enjoying him feeling bad. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t enjoy him feeling bad (I think) I just enjoy hearing the memories I cherish he does too!
I wonder though if part of it was true? Did they just go with the flow waiting for Dad? Do I dare get to the truth? Do I really want an answer? …NOPE!!… I will cherish my memories and let them have theirs. I just hope they never cross again. I will enjoy making new ones with my little guy. I like my foggy world. I will not admit to them that there are days that I too just go with the flow, pass the time until my husband comes home. (shh!)
My first is expecting his first in September! He already has it planned to walk along the now paved trail pushing the stroller anticipating someday he playing hide and seek with his child! He should know me by now! I will be right along side him. Yes, because that is my grand-baby and she/he will know everything is always about me, even making memories!