The Title


I was woken by the sound of the screen door slamming as my husband left for his extra long day of work. I mention extra long because it seems that his 12 hour day is not enough, and being that he missed a day due to the marvelous March storm he had hours to make up!

The bang was followed by the 2 little dogs screaming from their comfortable cozy sleeping crates at the foot of my bed. I wonder why they wait for him to leave, seriously they know he is  quite capable of opening the latch. But no, they lay there peacefully sleeping beside the fireplace just waiting to cause havoc.  Do they hold in their morning needs just to please him or annoy me? I could just let them cross their little legs but being that the boy just can not sleep in his own room and is snuggled so sweetly under my blanket I shuffle in and release the hounds. The big dog is at my heals just waiting to pounce on the little dogs and continuously jump knocking me in the chin each time until the back door is ajar.

So now all 3 dogs are out. The cat starts to fuss. Her food dish is full but not over flowing so that needs immediate rectifying. Oh! and the water bowel which all the animals share is not fresh enough for her. Well now that the water is running, why not fill the coffee pot and begin the magic of turning tap water into delicious aroma filled morning pick me up.

As I’m preparing the dogs breakfast, I notice a sink full of dishes. Perhaps while I was sleeping there was some sort of party in my house?  I mean I started the night in my crowded bed but my youngest needed that tiny little space for his foot to flop on, so I retrieved in defeat to the couch. How did I not hear the party going on?  So as I’m slicing the hot dogs for the 2 little dogs and adding broth and cheese to the big boys breakfast, my mind start racing on what I should take out for dinner.  Just as I decided on a simple bone warming soup of lentils, I thought of a title for my soon to be released book.

Yes soon to be, I mean so I have not reached or conjured up the last few chapters yet or spent gut wrenching hours on the re-write it will soon (sooner or later) be released! I step away from the kitchen counter and  search for my writing pen. Ummm, not just any ordinary pen will do, it has to be my writing pen. Of course during the party that I missed someone must have used it. Now I make a mental note to write whoever touched it into my work and kill them off!  My shiny metal red pen with black ink and grips to match is not at my desk, not tucked into the spirals of my notebook, not on my coffee table next to the couch where I slept. It was G .O. N .E, gone! I begin my search through angered eyes. I felt my eyes were bulging so that they were going to pop out. I am stomping and slamming all objects in my path. I reach for the phone to call my beloved hard-working husband who provides mighty for his family to tell him off. I was intent on making his moment  as frustrating as mine. I mean who the, who in the…just why did he slam that door and wake the screaming animals, how could he do that to me?

The wretched sound of the big dogs nails on the aluminum back door caused me to spin on my heels and grab the water bottle. Ah, the water bottle, well you see the big mooch is petrified of water, the very sight of the water bottle causes him to curl on the ground with his tail between his legs. I show him the bottle through the door. Of course he reacted just as I knew he would, like I wanted him to. The poor big mooch is curled in a ball on a heap of snowy ice. Well now my heart breaks and I kneel beside him apologizing as the little ones are jumping all over me.  There I am kneeling in the snowy ice talking to all 3 of them, telling them I just needed a cup of coffee and the day will get better.

After the morning feeding ritual and 2 cups of coffee consumed I now feel a bit more like I am ready for the day. My boy is still snuggled in my blanket, perfect time for me to sit at my desk and make the sooner or later soon! Still no pen in sight. Well it is the age of technology so who needs that pen when I have  a key board?  (me…me…I do) I sit and stare at the key board with a blank mind. I can not for the life of me remember the award-winning title I was sure would bring me to the NY Times best seller list. That stupid pen, if no one touched my pen, if that door did not slam if only there were no dishes in the sink.

The dishes, that’s right dinner. Soup it is. No dish soap, oh! gees yea I have laundry to do. The marvelous March storm dumped more ice than snow, perfect for sleigh riding, only problem is I thought  spring was coming early so I threw sleigh riding essentials in the attic just last week. Of course the essentials have already been plagued with attic smells so they need to be washed. The sled, where did I put that sled? Of course I never took it out of the car, one crisis averted. Sifting throughout the essentials I notice there is only 2 gloves and of course they don’t match. One is mine the other is the boys, one for warmth and the other water proof.

The boy…gee he’s still sleeping. Well that can not be. I have a lesson to get him through. He has fractions to master and a book due back at the library at the end of the week that we are not even half through yet.  The water is filling up in an empty washing machine, as I fight with the school dresser draws. I see it, I see the shiny red pen rolling back and forth as I fight with the draw. The title hit me again. I will make the best sellers list yet! I squeeze my swollen fingers in the draw and retrieve the pen. I shuffle back over to my desk thumbing through the notebook pages for a blank. I pause to read the well plotted out scene that I was patting myself on the back for the previous night. I wonder who wrote such gibberish, now I have to fix it and make it at least read like a coherent person wrote it.  I open the file on my computer and make my key board sing.

The lovely song coming from my keyboard is interrupted by the sound of my cell phone. I try my hardest to ignore it. But my mind immediately goes to the dark side. What if the middle guy is in a ditch somewhere, what if the oldest needs advice about one of the grandkids who’s bleeding he can’t control what if it’s the hospital trying to locate my husbands next of kin?  Well that phone solicitor will never dial my number again!

My key board refuses to sing for me now. The boy is still sleeping. Ok, well you know what fine, I can watch the season finally that I DVR’d, the episode that caused me to resist the urge to troll Face Book. How could I not read the millions of posts that would spoil the ending for me? I mozy over to my glorious magic machine and brew another cup.

Plopped on my couch still draped with the boys blanket, I snuggle under it with the 2 little dogs and the big mooch at my feet. All 4 of us as comfortable as could be when again the annoyance of my cell phone rang. I check the caller id and decide to ignore.  There was no one in a ditch, no blood and no next of kin needed. I make it through the episode quickly by fast forwarding the commercials. I am not thrilled, I was not in shock and I was not an emotional mess so for me the episode was a let down. I think to myself that I could have written it better. Write, written, wrote …Oh! come on what was the title that was sure to send me on a world book signing tour?

The 3 dogs start their dance of needing to go out. They just absolutely had to get out and bark at the grass growing under the snowy ice. Now I remember the sledding essentials needed washing. The stupid machine is full of water and every time I tried to place the essentials in I caused a mess on the floor.  Hmmm..floor? tour? I got it. I know how I am going to have my main character find her son.  I know who is going to help her. But what was that stupid title I thought of?, it must not been as good as I thought.

My key board is beginning to sound lovely, that darn phone again. My beloved hard-working husband is asking me about my day so far. My mind was telling him that it was fine and lovingly inquired about his, but out of my crazy mouth came…what do you care any how? It started horrible because you didn’t let the dogs out and you slammed the flipping door!  I went on and on about the dishes, the clothes, the lack of soap and the fact that my car was covered in snowy ice! And you know what he said…he had the nerve, the audacity to tell me that he was sorry he had to leave early and  was more sorry that he would not be home for dinner. Well now I feel like a fool, but do I admit it…NO, I continue with “well now what do you suppose I do for dinner?

I return to the keyboard which punishes me with silence. The heat is rising from the souls of my feet, the nape of my neck feels like a flame thrower is aimed upon it and moisture is forming on my scalp. I waddle to my sink and splash cold water on my face and fill a tall glass and gulp it down.(yes…folks MENOPAUSE)  The title is back in my thoughts. But the thought of how I just treated my beloved husband brings me to my knees with tears. I sobbed out an apology to the man who is my everything, of course he accepts, which does nothing for the deep shame I am feeling.

The big mooch again drives me mad with his nails on the aluminum, which he discovered at an early age would bring him and the little ones in the house immediately. Rushing to the door which is just passed the washing machine I realize I still did not clean the over flow mess. Well now I am on my butt and the boy is looking down at me demanding his iPad. I scream at him like he just asked for a pint of blood.  The boy begins to tell me just how mean I am, his angry frown turns into tears. I scramble to my feet and grab him in for the hug of a life time that he tried with all his force to fight against.  Not only did I bring him the IPad but a breakfast in bed  fit for the prince he is.

I return to my magic machine for another cup of sanity. each time I pass the counter where the magical cup stood I indulged. I passed the counter with the vacuum, the dust mop and finally wet mop. I passed it as I dragged the bucket of cleaning supplies room to room finally finishing the last cold drop with delight.  Chores were complete, well except for the laundered essentials, which I am patiently waiting for the machine to empty so I can properly put the essentials in before running the water.

I made a deal with the boy since he awoke to madness, I figure he deserved a day off from schooling. He was contents in the room nestled in the bed by the fire face -timing his friend. Perfect time for me to jot down the title . NOPE, not going to happen for the life of me I can not remember my award-winning, book signing tour , NY Times best selling list TITLE !

I look up at the time on my computer…11:11. I think I heard somewhere that  was supposed to be good luck.

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