I beg my muse to work with me. I mean really I think she has turned her back on me. ( well who needs her?)
She has always sat by me and gave me the push I need. Lately she is so far in front of me I think she is looking for someone else to talk to. I think she is annoyed that I just have not had the time to listen to her. She seems not to care that the weather broke for a little bit in my neck of the woods and I needed a healthy dose of vitamin-D. She certainly does not want to listen to the fact that I am still a mother and wife. I invite her to come along on errands. I would love for her to pick up the slack when it comes to house keeping. I could certainly use her improvisation when it comes to schooling the boy. And I tell her all the time, she can feel free to entertain the fury members of the family, but she ignores me.
My muse just does not want to listen to reason as to why I need to get away with my family and leave her at the computer waiting for my return. I think she is sick and tired of the fact that the key board has been quite. She does not care that the house needs to be in order for the dog sitter to have easy access to their needs. She hates the fact that there is water in my hand instead of the many cup and coffee that helps the key board perk up. She has no patience when I leave the volume up high on the phone instead of hitting mute and kicking up the radio volume. ( which she knows motivates me to make the key board sing) I think she’s a little annoyed that I have ignored her shove a few too many times.
What she really needs to do is work with me on is this menopause thing happening! I need her to work on keeping me focused. She has to work with me through the ups and downs. She has to stop me from expressing the crazy over the top highs and lonely lows through my characters that have no idea why they are twisting and turning line after line. She has stopped trying to keep the season scenes in order, one minute they are in the deep freeze of winter and the next the sultry humid days of summer. I think she forgot that she is supposed to be pushing me through a fictional crime thriller. She has allowed the characters to be your average next door neighbors! She needs to work with me and stop them from being vulnerable! I have tried to ask her why she took a strong character and in just a few sentences made her submissive. She has not stopped me from inserting rage in a character that was once so meek!
I beg her to help me show the rawness of emotions for a particular character but she just leaves me begging! She needs to work with me on one very important character but she is just choosing to ignore me. I think she is punishing me for not listening to her! I really do not think she believes me when I tell her I was trying! I mean, I was sort of listening as I was cleaning up my yard. I was trying to tune in to her as I was teasing the dogs with the hose. I thought I heard her whispering as I was bouncing on the trampoline with my boy but the sound of my bones creaking was loud! I wasn’t sure if it was her buzzing in my ear as I was preparing the soil in the vegetable garden for next months plant or the carpenter bee trying to burrow into the garden wall. So I naturally flared around like a drunk ninja and continued prepping! Perhaps it was she that was causing me to fidget in my lounge char instead of the blazing early evening sun. I tried to tell her I earned that moment in the sun. Not only did she not care what I did or did not do to earn that, but neither did the boy, the husband, the 3 dogs or the cat!
My muse needs to work with me and get into my groove! I mean really I have living to do, things to grow, family to tend to, sun to soak in and off the chart hormones to deal with! ….
SHHH…between me and you. I NEED HER BACK!!!!. I WILL LISTEN TO HER, I WILL, I WILL, I REALLY WILL!!! I WILL COMPLY TO HER! I SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO WORK WITH HER!